No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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