I wish I could punch you in the face.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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