I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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