my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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