You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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