She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
