4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
