I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
