Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
