So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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