It's Friday. Sex?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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