Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
