i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
