But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
