i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
