AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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