Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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