Just mADE A PArabola og urine
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
