Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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