He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
