Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
