Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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