of course. lets lasso hookers.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
