and she was petting her beer can
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it's great music for shaving your balls
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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