So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
