he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The beer is more important than you right now.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
