so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
