dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
