Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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