I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
