Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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