Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
