Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Randomize
