That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
