it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
