I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
