tell your sister to shave her snatch
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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