Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
