She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
