Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
