I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
