there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
false alarm. still invincible.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
