you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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