please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
