The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
