dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
