that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
