chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
