Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
