now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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